


Two Loves

by Princess of Geeks (Princess)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adultery, Episode Related: Season 1, First Time, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-24
Updated: 2012-03-24
Packaged: 2017-11-12 15:31:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/492786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess/pseuds/Princess%20of%20Geeks





	Two Loves

One kiss, out there in Jack's living room.

One kiss that had changed everything.  
One kiss: The catch and press of dry lips, then astonishing warmth, an engulfing feeling, a shock of intimacy. _How did this ever get to be a trivial thing? In any culture?_ Daniel had found himself thinking, as Jack's fingers wound into his hair and the kiss had gone from a tentative press of tilted lips to something incendiary and deep and wet. _God. Jack. I need this._

Jack's lips had been so soft; the lower plusher and fuller than the upper, and then his mouth turned out to be as muscled and assertive as the rest of him.

The kiss went on and on and finally, Jack had turned his head, breathing hard, gripping Daniel's upper arms.

"You sure you want this," he had murmured. As if that kiss hadn't been clear enough.

"Please," Daniel had said.

One kiss.

And here they were now, on either side of Jack's unmade bed, stripping quickly, gazes locked.

Daniel put his glasses on the nightstand and one knee on the bed, already hard. Jack wasn't, and his expression wasn't exactly full of desire. He was frowning, but his gaze was intent, and Daniel replayed that kiss, the way Jack had pulled on his arm to get him moving toward this bedroom.

Daniel wasn't going to let himself question that Jack would do this, with him, now. Because of the kiss, because of Jack urging him toward the bedroom, Daniel knew that much was true. But Jack was making this difficult now, expressing his second thoughts on his face, when Daniel wanted, needed, it to be easy. Or at least simple.

So Daniel moved, and -- relief -- Jack moved as well: They met in the center of the bed, still on their knees. Daniel wrapped him close again, reassuring, urging, kissing again, tasting, touching. Jack's skin was soft, especially over unflexed muscle. Soft and warm.

"It's all right," Daniel said, and ran his hand up Jack's cheek, hoping to ease that frown. So, so strange how it was Jack who apparently needed reassurance. Seemed to need it more than Daniel did. Which made no sense, but nothing really made sense. Not tonight. Not this night, when everything Daniel knew had been upended, shattered, blown apart.

Jack's arms came around him, hard, and they were kissing again, the second kiss becoming the third, and then all the kisses blurring into one long thing, one long, intense ravishing, a melding of mouths and tongues. They were falling, sideways, sprawling on the unmade bed, still locked together.

And yes. Jack was getting hard now. Daniel felt his erection, pressing against his thigh, and he groaned and reached down, curling his hand around it, learning its contours, caressing. Jack pushed against him at that first touch, a spasm of his hips that seemed involuntary, and he tightened one arm around Daniel and reached for him, like a mirror image.

It was awkward, and it felt driven, as if they couldn't help themselves. Touching, exploring, fingertips and hands, and the kissing that went on and on until Daniel pulled his mouth away because he was gasping for breath.

He swallowed, and got an elbow under himself, now holding Jack without stroking, legs still tangled, and he opened his eyes and examined Jack's face. He hoped to see something other than reluctant desire and a kind of fatal attraction. He himself needed this, yes, and he was prepared to allow Jack to need it. But it would be nice if they desired it, too. Daniel didn't want to say to himself, later, "I couldn't help it." He wanted to be able to say, "I chose this. I knew exactly what I was doing."

He didn't know if it would be more important to be able to say those things to himself, or to Jack. Maybe both.

"Jack," he breathed, insisting, willing, that Jack open his eyes and look, and see.

Jack met his gaze, titled his head into Daniel's cupping hand. His expression was... resigned.

"I want this. I want you," Daniel insisted.

 _So what else is new?_ Jack's eyebrows said.

"I love you," Daniel hissed, reluctant. Could he say Jack had pushed him to that? He felt pinned, exposed, but still determined.

The words made Jack's eyes fall closed, made his hands tighten, one on Daniel's ribs and one still curled gently around Daniel's dick.

Daniel lowered his mouth to kiss Jack's neck, kiss the soft hollow where the pulse beat strongly, and at that, Jack gasped, and his head lolled back, a surrender and an acceptance that made Daniel's closed eyes burn.

"It's all right," Daniel said.

Jack growled, and pushed and moved, using his weight, using his skill, and suddenly Daniel was under him, flat on his back, and Jack's teeth were at his neck, pushing just as Daniel had pushed at first. Jack was definitely hard now, and his erection slotted in beside Daniel's like the missing piece of a puzzle, and Daniel tilted his head back and gripped Jack's shoulder blades and let it happen.

"Yes," he said. Whatever Jack needed this to be, Daniel would do it. Daniel would want it too.

"God," Jack said, a reluctant word, torn from his throat, and he sought Daniel's mouth again, and pushed against him, soon in a determined rhythm. Daniel held on tight, arms around Jack's shoulders, and opened his mouth and tilted his hips. Jack was getting wet; Daniel could feel it, could feel the inevitability of climax rushing toward them both.

And he realized that there was a very strong possibility that this would be all that that would happen between them -- this night. It was likely, on one hand, that his own guilt and the prior claim Sha're had, and on the other, Jack's sense of duty, order, and dedication to his oath, would outweigh the desperation of this night, this out-of-time renewal of what they'd found before, on Abydos, on another night, together in a cold desert. On that first mission, they'd felt a commitment that had driven them together even before Daniel had made his decision to stay on the planet they'd discovered. That feeling between them hadn't resulted in sex, but in an intimacy short of this. Nevertheless -- the bond was there. Daniel was sure Jack knew it.

Because it was that unspoken but undeniable thing between them that had made this night possible.

And Daniel realized suddenly that if this was all he was going to get, this one night of surcease and passion and release, he didn't want frottage. He didn't want to kiss Jack and hold him tight and feel Jack come against his stomach. Which was clearly going to happen in just a few minutes. Maybe less.

He wanted more than that.

He wanted to feel this tomorrow. He wanted to -- symbolically perhaps; perhaps sentimentally, perhaps making himself into a living cliché, but so be it -- he wanted to feel this for a week. And he wanted something of Jack to carry with him, literally, even though the Air Force and his own sense of duty might drive them apart soon enough.

Daniel wanted.

"Wait," he murmured, pushing at Jack's shoulders, and he got a glimpse of Jack's confused, driven face, a bit annoyed to be interrupted in his blurry push to mutual orgasm.

"Wait," he said again, and Jack started to say, "Don't you..." but Daniel kept going. He took the space he'd made, when his push made Jack brace himself against the mattress, and lift the weight of himself from Daniel's torso. He took the space he'd made, and used it to turn over -- a writhing twist, sliding against Jack's hot skin, dragging his hip and his buttocks along Jack's leaking erection.

And then he was down on his belly, bracing with his elbows, scrubbing his face against the mattress and the corner of a pillow, his tangled hair in his mouth.

"Jesus, Daniel," Jack said. Because Daniel's movement had left Jack pressed against the cleft of his ass, left them back-to-chest.

"This is what I want," Daniel blurted. "Please. Do it this way. In me."

"Daniel," Jack said, amazement and arousal in his voice. He kissed Daniel's neck, and Daniel felt the smoothing touch of his hands. "If I do that... we have to... we need..." but instead of getting up to look for KY or oil or Vaseline or whatever might be in the nightstand or the bathroom, Jack fell silent, and Daniel felt him move back, and then felt Jack's hands, so warm, a little rough, a little callused, smoothing over his buttocks, gently touching the curves of his spine, squeezing his thighs.

"You look... amazing," Jack said, and his voice had fallen a few notes. Daniel smiled and spread his legs, as much as he could as Jack knelt behind him, and Jack made an appreciative noise and kept touching. His thumbs smoothed up and down, parting Daniel, stroking and rubbing, and then Daniel felt Jack's cheek, scrubbing against him, and then two smacky, matching kisses, planted on his buttocks, that made him smile.

Then Jack patted him, and got up. Daniel waited, arranging his own erection to a slightly more comfortable spot.

"Vaseline's all I've got," Jack murmured. "And I have to say this, which you should have asked -- I don't keep rubbers in the house. But I haven't been with anyone since Sara left. I guess that's all right, but it's your call."

Jack got back into bed.

"It's fine," Daniel said, eyes closed, loving the velvet fall of Jack's voice in his ears. Jack's voice, talking about what they would do.

He gasped, turning his head to the side, when Jack's finger slid in. Yes, this was what he wanted. Just this.

"More," Daniel said, moving.

"Oh my God," Jack said, and gave him more. Jack shifted, getting his weight off the hand he'd planted beside Daniel, and as two of Jack's fingers moved in him, he felt the thumb of Jack's other hand, pulling him open, stroking the stretching muscle as the fingers of the other hand pistoned in and out. Everything was a hot slide, the melting petroleum jelly leaving him perfectly slippery. Daniel moaned. This was going to work. It was so going to work.

"Ready?" Jack whispered, hot breath at his ear, and he was guiding himself to the opening, pushing in, slow, so slow.

"Perfect," Daniel said. "This... this is what I want. I want you."

"Daniel," Jack said again, and scrubbed his face against what he could reach of Daniel's, kissing, moving in him. It was a hot burn -- all fire, no pain. Daniel's body was eager for this; impatient for it.

For his part, Jack seemed to get even harder the longer he was inside, and he kept it slow and deep, deep as he could go. The stimulation was like sparking lightning, traveling through Daniel in waves, making him squeeze his eyes closed and pant and move against Jack's weight. He was open, spread. Filled. It was perfect. It was everything.

"God, Daniel, Daniel," Jack said, and then he was coming. Daniel couldn't feel it inside, but he felt the tremors run through Jack's body, heard him gasp, felt his hands close involuntarily.

Then, barely done, Jack was holding him tight, so he could slide them a little sideways without losing the connection of their bodies, and Jack was fumbling for his dick, stroking it. It was almost too much; all the focus of the sex had been happening in his ass, and he wasn't ready for stimulation there. Daniel groaned, and pushed back on Jack's still-hard dick, and clawed at Jack's thigh. It was overwhelming, finishing what Jack had started inside him. Tasting sweat, biting his lip, he came, pulsing in hot waves over Jack's fist. It was overwhelming, but already it didn't feel like enough. It would have to be.

They lay there, breathing hard. Jack didn't let go.

The sharp smell of come and sweat wreathed them and slowly faded. Daniel opened his eyes, and without his glasses, the stripes of light on the ceiling, coming in through the blinds from the streetlights, didn't resolve. The room was shadowed; and the light on the ceiling became a series of long gold blurs, like eerie tiger stripes.

"Jack," Daniel said when he could, and exerted himself to make his spent muscles move, to wrap his arm around Jack's, to grope under his side to press his other palm against Jack's skin as Jack lay pressed behind him.

"Baby," Jack whispered, and kissed the back of his neck.

They lay there until Jack softened and slid free, and then Jack got up and headed for the bathroom. It was connected to the bedroom, the door just a few feet away, on Daniel's side of the bed.

Jack pulled the door half shut, and turned on the light. It was a white glare, hard to adjust to. Daniel closed his eyes and groped for his glasses. He heard water running. Obscured by the door, there was Jack's thoughtful profile. He was at the sink. He was coming back, suddenly in the dark as he snapped off the light, and bringing a warm towel.

He quickly, methodically, cleaned Daniel up. His eyes were dark and kind, and small smile was playing around his mouth. Daniel liked that. When he was finished, he went back to the bathroom to pitch the towel into the tub. Daniel waited, trying not to think, until Jack came back, in those few seconds drawing his knees up, putting his hands between them, attempting to evaluate how he felt with as few words as possible.

He felt like he'd just had a rare and unfamiliar kind of sex. He felt like something had happened to him that would stay with him. Which was exactly what he had wanted when he kissed Jack in front of the fire. He drew in a breath, held it, then let it out meditatively, thoughtfully. The mattress creaked, and there was Jack, beside him again, leaning on an elbow. He pressed close. His skin was cool now. Daniel smiled at him. Jack sighed, and he smoothed Daniel's rumpled hair away from his forehead. The simple gesture made Daniel close his eyes, and there were the tears again, so far away earlier, right behind his eyelids now.

_Sha're..._

He groped for Jack's neck, pulled him down, pulled him close.

"Second thoughts?" Jack asked, letting himself be pulled in, not resisting at all. He smelled of sex and coffee and beer and soap.

"None," Daniel said. He swallowed. The tears receded. He'd needed this. He wasn't going to apologize or back down. "It's like... strength for the fight, you know?"

He opened his eyes to see Jack nodding. He felt one warm tear escape. Jack might see it, or might not. It didn't matter.

"I know," Jack said. "I'm glad you're here."

That made Daniel laugh. "You know? I'm not. But here I am." He stroked Jack's back, down his arm, to soften the blow of his words. But Jack understood him.

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant under the circumstances. Shitty though they are. That's actually not a strong enough word. But."

"No. I know," Daniel said, and he gripped the back of Jack's head, and kissed him. Jack's lips were surprised, but he followed along willingly, eagerly. They kissed for a while, until Daniel pulled back and let his head fall onto the pillow.

"I'm glad I'm here too. Under the circumstances."

Jack smiled at him, knowing and sad, and settled on the pillow next to him, pulling Daniel's back to his front.

They'd sleep, then, and the morning and its demands would come soon enough. Daniel had gotten what he wanted -- something he could remember. Something of Jack to carry with him. He couldn't say, thank you, exactly. That would be wrong. But he could say.... something. Could he say it again? Should he? He should. And he could.

He smiled as he said, "I love you, Jack. Good night."

Jack's hiss of breath was true surprise. Maybe he expected sentiment as foreplay, not as a seal on the night.

"Back atcha," he said, sounding gruff, sounding very Jack, and his arms tightened around Daniel. And stayed that way, until Daniel fell asleep.

end


End file.
